Folk Song Follies

[taimatsu]

Over the last few years I have occasionally had a conversation with various musical buddies which invokes the idea of the List Of Things Not To Do If You Find Yourself Stuck In A Folk Song. I have just tried to Google to see if such a thing is extant on the web, and either it's not of my Google-fu sucks.

SO, here's your chance, boys and girls: clearly this list must be compiled and put on my lovely shiny tidy new website (which you can see from the 'Lucy's Home Page' link on my journal).

I'll start you off:

Sensible Advice Should You Find Yourself Stuck In A Folk Song

- Make detailed enquiries into the family background of anyone who wants to sleep with or marry you.
- Take a life-jacket on any sea-voyage.
- Avoid cross-dressing.
- If you can't avoid cross-dressing, avoid flirting with anyone at all while in the garb of the opposite sex.


Any more?

Comments

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

Here via mirabehn. I love this sort of thing. :D

A few more:

If you are making a romantic assignation with somebody your family disapproves of, get a motel room. Don't use your own bedroom. Especially if you have seven homicidal brothers (or any homicidal brothers).

If you do go to sea or to war, be sure to give your True Love half of a ring before you go. Your survival is thus guaranteed.

Never, under any circumstances, go to the broom. Or (and I know this one's at Making Light) the greenwood side.

Don't tell your parents they can burn you at the stake before you'll give up your Scottish/English/otherwise unsuitable boyfriend. They might call you on it. (In general, cross-border romances are a Bad Idea.)

If you give birth to an illegitimate child you don't want to keep around, leaving him anonymously on the doorstep of the local religious institution is probably a better choice on the whole than putting him in a tiny boat and casting him out to sea.

If you must express enthusiasm, in the presence of your husband, for the attractiveness of a random person passing through town, it is prudent to add an "except for you, sweetie" when saying said person is the hottest guy you've ever seen. Especially if your husband is in a position to remove said hot guy's head.

When pleading for the life of your significant other, offering to raise funds is probably a more effective strategy than offering up your six children. And it means that said children won't grow up with complexes.

Avoid the Lowlands low.

When you're trying to get back on the boat, ask your shipmates to pull you up first.