Jeeves and the Unusual Experiment

[taimatsu]

camwyn posted about wanting to hear Hugh Grant saying the line "Excuse me, I, ah, well, well, I could be wrong, but I seem to... erm... be a brain in some sort of... jar?"

My stupid brain misinterpreted this as referring to Hugh Laurie, and so I produced the following comment (slightly edited for infelicities of expression - the original is on the post above) which I think is perhaps worthy of reproduction.


I spent that night down at the Drones enjoying a convivial snifter with other habitués of that distinguished gentleman's resort; perhaps the evening may have degenerated somewhat - perhaps I may have had one or two more than Aunt Agatha would consider appropriate - but nevertheless I let myself into the flat at a decent hour - three am, if I remember correctly- and retired to my bed much as usual, Jeeves spiriting away my discarded garments and so on. A downright ordinary evening.

I woke the following morning at some confoundedly early hour, to what sounded like some bally birds cheeping outside the window - dashed inconsiderate when a chap's feeling fragile, I always think.

I essayed to open an eye. Something felt wrong. I attempted to feel for the bell on my bedside table. Why hadn't Jeeves brought in the usual pick-me-up? Something was very wrong indeed. I wondered blearily what it could be. Hand. Where was my hand? Why couldn't I see anything?

Suddenly light dawned - there in front of me, larger than life, was Jeeves, lifting... the cover... off my... jar. "Good morning, sir," he intoned in that impassive way of his. "Your tea is ready."

The cheeping noise continued, sounding louder and more mechanical. It seemed to be coming from a bank of machines opposite me. Where was my wardrobe? My bed? Where was I?

A horrible clarity invaded my senses, and I realised that my entire body was strangely absent. What was I seeing with? Where were my ears? What, in heaven's name, had happened to my arms and legs?

"Jeeves!" I cried - I found my voice seemed to issue from a different location from normal, somewhere up and to the right. I found myself strangely reluctant to utter my suspicions - they seemed so bizarre. "Jeeves, pardon me if I seem to be raving. I... I could be wrong, but I seem to... erm... be a brain in some sort of... jar?"

"Indeed, sir. You are quite correct. You are a brain in a jar - though I prefer the technical term brain cylinder."

I noticed, with a growing sense of horror, that Jeeves was wearing some sort of white coat affair, and was in the act of pouring my cup of tea into a kind of bally funnel arrangement in front of me.

"Jeeves!" I croaked. "Explain yourself!"

Comments

[mirabehn.livejournal.com]

Bwaaaaah!!!!

*giggles*

Sorry i've not replied to your e-mail yet. I think what with exhaustion and panto and stoof I may not be good for much until the last week before Christmas. But we *will* have our day together, dammit, even if we have to wait for it!

I'll buy your ticket tomorrow. :-)

[taimatsu]

Cool. Whenever is fine, as long as we don't let it drop entirely out of sight! You look after yourself and I will look forward to seeing you when you are a little weller. :)

And yay! ticketses! ;)