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Why must it get worse? I have a rash under my left breast (no, it isn't meningitis, I have checked) and a medium-severe pain in about the same place which makes it hell to breathe, cough etc. I feel like there's something stuck in my throat which makes swallowing unpleasant, and I'm hoarse and sore and tired and hot and nauseous.

WHY? Does someone think I haven't had enough of this yet? When am I allowed to actually GET BETTER? What did I do?

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My cough, though not as bad as it has been, is still too disturbing to allow me to sleep. I can't take any more medicine till 3am. I think I'm in for another long night.

Update: medicine taken. I am dubious as to whether it will work. I think I am now starting to wheeze a little when I cough. I make a little squeaky sound as I catch my breath. I can't face calling NHS Direct as I would have to talk.

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medicine does not calm cough enough for sleep. Want to hit stupid doctors. am going to have to become nocturnal. Am SO TIRED. This is the third night in a row i have had no sleep, and in the daytimes I have had only a few hours total. I want to cry. Please make it stop now.

My chest is very uncomfortable.

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it hurts. it all hurts and nothing will make it stop. nhsdirect nurse says i should go o doc again tomorrow about the chest pain but they will just prod me again with the stethoscope and say i am fine. I'm not fine, i want o DIE. i can hardly move it hurts so much now. crying doesn't help either though and i keep retching.

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i believe the vile cough linctus make the cough worse, not better. I think I may be sick.

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I have just woken up - i went to sleep after Robert left for work, I think. Can't say I feel much better for it though.

I was debating doctor/no doctor and was thinking no doctor, but I have realised I am coughing up green phlegm which is another bad sign. So perhaps I should see a doctor. However, the walk up there, short though it is, has really taken it out of me the last couple of times I've done it - I've ended up in tears, or leaning on lamp-posts retching, etc. But I feel asking for a home visit would be taking the piss given it's my third call to the doctor's for the same illness, and it's still only flu, and I saw them yesterday! Anyway, a doctor could barely get in the house, it's such a mess, let alone make it to my bedside up here. I don't know what to do.

My chest sill hurts; I still have a rash; my left shoulder is sore; I am still coughing very unpleasantly; my ears still ache. My throat is not too bad at the moment, which is a bonus.

Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

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I am going to the doc again for 3.20. I couldn't bring myself to insist on a visit especially as the house is such a state.

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I went to the doctor again! I have antibiotics! These are for the green gunk, not anything to do with the chest pain and the rash, which are not likely to be anything serious.

I have had a bit of a revelation. I spent this evening after coming in from my expedition downstairs, finishing a volume of Trollope on the sofa where, incidentally, Robert has been sleeping for most of the last week. During this time I coughed infrequently and was generally comfortable. Then, having finished my book and wishing to check my email, I decided to go upstairs. Within ten minutes of sitting down on the bed I was in another huge, horrible, gasping-for-breath coughing fit. Now I'm downstairs again. I think I might discuss making a swap with Robert for tonight; either it'll help me sleep better or I will stay awake all night again - it's not like it can make anything *worse*.

Either that or i will enlist help to get the big futon usable.

Oh, I don't know. I've just taken all my pills and potions. I'm watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which is better than nothing, I guess. The gay guys are pretty cute, actually. I keep wanting to fall asleep but the coughing is too frequent ahd too painful, though it's less frequent than it was. I need to line up things to do tonight, since I anticipate I'll be sleepless again.

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I think my problem has really been my expectations. I had this assumption that flu was something I ought to get over very quickly, in a few days maxiumum. Turns out that's really not the case - I can expect to be feeling under par right till the end of the month, given all the lack of sleep, not eating much, etc.

Ah well. As long as I'm vaguely sane and alive on Saturday, I'll be happy. (First anniversary! Boyfriend! Incredible! Yay!)

Sooooo, tonight. How can I while away the hours? There's all sorts of things I could do, if I weren't struggling with closing eyes all the time. I sort of sit there, eyes closed, propped straight up against the bedhead, mouth open like a fish, slowly dropping off, and then I cough. And then I cough again. And then I cough some more, and some more, and I have to lean forward and cough, and no way am I sleeping. But I'm so tired I can't concentrate on reading or knitting or anything else.