Internet!

We have internet back, and I'm up and running again. I'll be posting some back entries shortly, which I wrote on this machine while it was isolated from the outside world. I'm not going to backdate them as that would probably confuse me, and no-one else would see them; and I write these things, at least in part, in order to get a little feedback on my thoughts.

In other news, tonight we had a BBQ for tithonus which people actually turned up to, so I was very chuffed. Several people commented I was being organised; I'd spent all day feeling very *dis*organised, so that was strange. But we had food and fire and people and everyone enjoyed themselves, so all was cool. Kitchen still rather messy (I did a little clearing up before coming upstairs) but I'll sort that tomorrow, as well as, um, cleaning the bathroom, ironing *all* my clothes, going to HEadington to find out where my new job is, and generally doing more life-sorting-out. Oh yes, and going to buy some new black jeans.

20/8/02 - Bicon report [back entry]

Evening, 20/8/02
I guess I had better do a BiCon report now, even though we have no internet, or I will forget it all :) Well, not all, of course - some of it is pretty unforgettable - but the details will be lost to me. You know what I mean.

Typing feels odd right now as I have managed to get superglue on the ends of three of my fingers and both thumbs. Nothing is stuck together, thankfully, but i have little coatings of glue on my fingertips and it feels very odd. I've been trying to do a craft kit I bought in South Africa which involves sticking semi-precious stones together in the shape of a seahorse - I didn't realise my spiffy new superglue pen was malfunctioning and dripping nastily on things, including me. Fortunately i am not stuck to it, halle lujah.

Anyway, Bicon.
( Faff-tastic! )

2/9/02 [back entry]

It's interesting; a little while ago I happened to be involved in a conversation where someone was referred to as 'the stud of the Camarilla'. Whether or not the designation was apt, and who it was, are not matters I'm actually concerned with right now. It just occurred to me to wonder, in a slightly dazed and disconnected way, why that person was male; I mean, there are women who 'get around' just as much as Mr. Stud does, and quite probably more. Yet they aren't lauded for it - 'stud' generally carries connotations of approval. I don't think people go so far as to call the girls 'sluts', or if they do, it's because they've tried to reclaim the word in the same way as some gay people use 'queer' or 'fag' which used to be terms of abuse.

Behind it, probably unconsciously, is the idea that men want sex and women don't. That you have to talk women into bed, but men are always up for it. That bedding lots of women is a great achievement for a man, and raises his status, but bedding lots of men is no big deal for a woman, and degrades her. In some ways, this is accurate. Despite advances in contraception, women still have much more to lose from a casual sexual encounter than men do, even leaving aside the possibility of societal disapproval - pregnancy, the fact that it's easier for a woman to get infected with HIV from a man than it is for a man to catch it from a woman.

I just found myself oddly repulsed by the whole system of assumptions. On the other hand, I know I have absorbed part of it myself. I don't look with approval on *anyone* having lots of random sex; it doesn't strike me as a good thing. But I think it repulses me more when it's a woman doing it than it does when it's a man. This could be partly because I'm more sensible of the risks she could be taking, and because I'm a woman myself. Still, it doesn't make me feel good that I'm applying this double standard myself, even unconsciously.

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Ugh, I seem to be still awake. not sure why. EINTERNET.

I posted a Mage background piece on shadow_writers - it's marked Friends-only, but do go look if you're a member :)

next weekend I'm heading to london to do fun things with neve and simon, which is nice, and will involve EB and shopping and Greenwich vampire, first vamp game aaargh. I shall NPC, assuming all this works out.

i'm looking forward to having money again; job will be good.

there was something else i was going to say, but i've forgotten it. I think it is bedtime.

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I'm catching up on Megatokyo. Huge urge to cosplay this.