Questions from quisalan

[taimatsu]

1) You've been through a number of fairly difficult decisions in your life so far, such as your sexuality and deciding to drop out. If you could remake any one decision from the last 5 years, what would it be and why?

Difficult one to start with! :)

There is one obvious answer to this - if I could do this over again, I wouldn't have gone to Oxford. I picked the wrong course, I picked the wrong college to study said course at, and the Oxford system in general has many more bad points than good ones from my perspective (I need more group work and peer contact and support, and a bit more nagging from tutors). I would have been better off had I taken a gap year (which would have lessened some of the sexuality crisis, actually), done some youth work and earnt some money, and then gone somewhere else (possibly Leeds) to do something else (possibly English or something creative). That said, I adore Oxford as a place, and I made some very good friends there, and learnt a lot from my experiences. If a genie gave me a wish which allowed me to actually re-make that decision, I'd have to stipulate that I got to meet the same people, in one way or another :)

(How does 'my sexuality' count as a decision? :) I suppose deciding to disclose it was a decision, but...)

2) There has been some furor in the media lately with regards to non-hetrosexuality in the church lately, such as the backlash against the attempted appointment of a homosexual Cannon Jeffrey John in Reading. How do you reconcile being openly bisexual as well as openly religious in a faith that discourages this? What advice do you have for people in the same situation?

(Krys, you have to know I can wrote for hours about this question!)
I deal with it by *not* being openly bisexual when I am around people from my parents' church :)

I am originally a Catholic, and the Catholic church regards all homosexual acts as 'objectively evil'. Plenty of Catholics don't agree with this, and I don't either. But I can't quite cope at present with counting myself a member of a church which loudly proclaims something I find offensive and deeply wrong, so I don't count myself a Catholic at the moment. In fact, I don't identify with any particular denomination right now, though I do think of myself as a Christian. It is quite possible to be a Christian and not condemn homosexuality - I won't launch into long-winded Biblical arguments right now, but let's just say Jesus never said it was wrong, and actually commended devoted friendship between people of the same sex (indeed, the only time we are told Jesus cries is when a male friend of his dies). So, I don't think open homosexuality is in any way incompatible with Christian belief. It might well be incompatible with mainstream church membership, but that's human bigotry at work, not divine condemnation.

My advice to people in that situation: read. There are loads of books out there about this issue. I picked up one called 'Just As I Am' (forgotten author name) second-hand, which actually talks quite a lot of rubbish and tries to establish that Jesus could have been gay (he could have, but I don't think he was, or that it matters, and even if he had been he wouldn't have been gay in a way that maps easily onto modern homosexual relationships). It does make some very good points, though, and has a bibliography which suggests other things to read. So, read books. Read the Bible. Find out what the passages are that people use to condemn homosexuality. There are almost always other ways to interpret them, and it's up to the individual to decide how they understand these things (except if you're a Catholic, because your church is infallible and tells you what you must believe. In that case, I advise leaving). Make your own decisions.

3) What do you like the most about Robert?

Everything? :)

Um, *thinks* *crosses off TMI answer* *crosses off too-soppy answer* *panics* ...

I like the fact that he is very affectionate, and when things go wrong I can always get a hug while we sort it out. Also, everyone has some things they find it hard to talk about, and I like the fact that not only is he willing to try opening up about those things, but he makes it easy for me to do so too.

4) What do you see as your greatest flaw? Conversely, what do you see as your greatest strength?

Flaw: I am lazy, and I procastinate. If I could just get on with things life would be far easier.

Strength: Hmmmm. I think I am quite good at dealing with other people's problems in a structured way. I'm very bad at doing this for my problems, but if it's a friend's problem, or a work problem, I can make mental flow-charts and break a problem down to essentials very efficiently. That doesn't sound like much of a greatest strength, really, but I think it fits best.

5) What would you like to be remembered for?

ARGH, good question. I don't know. I don't have ambitions to be world-wide famous, or be remembered by everyone - just a few people would do fine. I'd like to be remembered as someone who was kind, someone who made nice things which people like to own, someone who thought deeply and loved people, and someone who helped, or taught, or looked after people. I'd just like to have good friends who'd miss me, I think.

Comments

Thank you!

[quisalan.livejournal.com]

Nice answers!

Gives a fair impression of you as well I think :). And as a side point, I wasn't aware that Jesus only cried once in the Bible. And I am very intrigued as to what the first two thoughts on the Robert question were ;)

Re: Thank you!

[taimatsu]

In the story where Lazarus (the brother of MAry and Martha, who all lived at Bethany) dies of an illness, there is a verse which simply reads 'Jesus wept.' That is, I think, the only time we're told he cries. He probably cried a lot more than that, but we don't get to hear about it, and it's interesting that the information is included there. (It's interesting because according to some theories of the transmission of oral history/texts, detail gets lost, unless it's very important, so for that to remain it must be quite important. Some theories claim the reverse, of course :))