no subject

[taimatsu]

Might actually have job from next week, which would be nice. It'd start at 8.30am though, in Headington, which is kind of bad. Mornings, ick.

Now have appropriate bra for fabulous new top so wish to go show it off somewhere. Need to go clubbing, probably somewhere goth-ish. Any thoughts, volunteers, etc.?

Am tired. Have not dome much recently. Went to see Monsoon Wedding yesterday evening, which was great, and almost made me cry, which is very unusual. Next up is Cabaret, being shown over the end of this week and beginning of next at the UPP. Any takers?

have vague things to rant about but won't right now. Mostly because all of them are my fault and it is only what I deserve if I feel bad about them. *sigh* I really let myself down sometimes.

I need to fiddle with my friends groups too :)

Tomorrow I plan to buy heaps of black net to add to the top of my white net petticoat to make a fabulously gothy skirt to go with super new top. there will be silver star sequins also sewn on.

Right, should get offline. Hope I can pay for all this netcafeishness...

Comments

[jero.livejournal.com]

Where ya working in Headington? I used to live there :)

Oi remember the days when it used to be a 7/11 on the corner, not a Budgens ... always handy when you get off the late night coach from London :)

xx P xx

Clubbing....

[pure-simon.livejournal.com]

If you wanna do *GOTH*.......I'm sure I could be convinced to offer to haul you and the Neve to "Slimelight" which is on a saturday night, starting at about 11pm and ending at something like 6amish for those silly and brave enough to stay till the end. Is full of a manyness of peoples and often contains a large number of "the sluts" [tm] who Caroline will confirm for you are lovely people really!
Would involve you being in London overnightish, and expecting to be very tired on the sunday....but could be an option for that planned weekend we had coming up?

Si

[(Anonymous)]

Me too, but I'm an old bastard... and the 7/11 was the first place in Oxford I ever bought alcohol. We walked all that way from a school open day staying in Pembroke sodding College because nowhere else would serve us.

jdcxxx

Feeling Bad is Not Necessarily Good...

[quisalan.livejournal.com]

have vague things to rant about but won't right now. Mostly because all of them are my fault and it is only what I deserve if I feel bad about them. *sigh* I really let myself down sometimes.

About the rant - if it's about what I think it's about, don't worry. And don't feel guilty. The only point in feeling bad is a reminder to do better next time - so catalogue it, remember it, and then put it away and don't beat yourself up over it.

It won't achieve anything to dwell on it, and will just shove you on a downward spiral where you feel perminantly guilty, unhappy, and therefore useless and don't do anything. Hence there is no point in beating yourself up about the money stuff - just use it as an incentive to get everything else sorted.

Houses are like this; certain things trigger people's red buttons. It took a little while for the house to settle down last year too. I'm surprised you didn't come across this in Kitten. With Matt it seems to be:

1) Feeling like he's not being listened to/taken account of ("I sent an email outlining everything! Didn't you read it?")
2) Feeling unhappy at taking sole responsibility for communal things.
3) Not having a net connection!

Unfortunately, all of these things are in play. Matt N and I (and to a lesser extent Chris) are all just as guilty of winding him up by not getting things sorted. I put a slight rant on my LJ at getting all the grief - that doesn't mean I'm denying any of it is my fault :).

I'm going to try and sort out the cleaning rota this weekend which is going to cause screams *wry grin*. Since housework (well, the kitchen/bathroom being in a state mainly) seem to be one of my triggers.

Don't stress and see you soon :).

*hugs*

Krystyna

[ewx.livejournal.com]

Cabaret was on in Cambridge recently and I went to see it with lnr and mobbsy; I enjoyed it. I think I mentioned it here somewhere, in fact. Monsoon Wedding we saw a while ago, and I was quite impressed.

Re: Feeling Bad is Not Necessarily Good...

[ewx.livejournal.com]

A couple of observations from when I lived in shared houses...

I'm not convinced that email within a house is the right way to organize domestic things, like doing the washing up, taking the bins out, and so on; email is too easy to ignore and of course lacks all the non-verbal parts of communication. Sorting out what to buy in the shops on the way home from work and things like that seem a better use for it. As ever, YMMV.

I find that I prefer doing particular things consistently as part of housework rather than doing everything in a rota. Again, obviously this won't suit everybody, but it's another possible approach to consider.

lnr and I have a cork board up in the kitchen which we can pin bills and things to. This saves them getting lost under a pile of papers...

Re: Feeling Bad is Not Necessarily Good...

[quisalan.livejournal.com]

No, we don't do things by email if we can help it. This was Matt writing a list the day before he went on holiday, and leaving. Bit of a dump on us. So it's a bit unusual.

The idea about one area in the house to clean is interesting, but I'm not sure it will work; mainly because we all have different tidiness tolerances. By varying the rooms you stop each person settling into one level.

Also, it's just 'maintainace tidying'; you're supposed to clean up after yourself as you go along. Having ownership of one room may cause the others to get lazy "well, I should clear the tops off now I've finished, but it's [X]'s job and I cba".

As with bins and washing up etc, I'm loathe to rota them because it should be based on common sense. See the bin is full? change it. Need to stack the dishwasher and there are things in there? Empty it.

I was thinking we could have a tick list near the bin on the wall. Every time you empty the bin you put a tick on the wall by your name. Then, hopefully, if the bin needs empty and you notice everyone else has emptied it apart from you, you will get enough incentive to change it. But that's a matter for a house meeting.

To be honest everything is about perception in a shared house. The tick list is more to make other people not feel like they are doing all the housework; the rota is so you can look and know other people are clearing up too. It's more for everyone to feel fair than to slave chore list.

Re: Feeling Bad is Not Necessarily Good...

[ewx.livejournal.com]

I'm not talking about areas of the house, the kind of thing I mean is that I find washing up far less unpleasant than other kinds of cleaning[1]. If everyone else feels the same this doesn't help but if different people have different preferences then that can help with the division of labour.

[1] but we're still planning on a dishwasher.

Maintenance tidying is a nice theory which I subscribed to for ages, but I don't really believe in it any more; no matter how much you try to tidy after yourself, things just gradually get messy, either because people are in too much of a rush to tidy up immediately, or because they don't notice when something is messy, or just through cruft settling out of the air (kitchens and bathrooms are worst for this, I guess something to do with the temperature and humidity?). The common-sense bin emptying is something that bugged me at a previous place; it seemed to routinely get overfilled even when to my eyes it needed emptying. (These days we empty the bins once a week before the dustbin is emptied and our rate of generating rubbish is low enough that this just works.) We coped fine with the loading/unloading dishwasher though.

But everyone has to find the mechanisms that work best for their particular combination of personalities. l-)

Ugh, I must have left auto-format on above. Sorry about that.

[taimatsu]

Windmill Road. Don't ask more than that, I haven't been there yet :)

Re: Clubbing....

[taimatsu]

Sounds fun. This weekend (30th-1st) I need to see parentals. Next weekend (6th-8th) was the one you were mentioning, wasn't it? It's the weekend of St Giles' Fair, mind you - that's the sunday evening, so I'd like to be back for that. I'll email you :)

Re: Feeling Bad is Not Necessarily Good...

[taimatsu]

With Kitten, I had already been there a lot because I stayed with jdc a fair bit before I moved in, so I kind of got used to it. Also, it was very slap-dash about communal stuff - we only had the kitchen and bathroom as communal areas, and no-one really did much with them. It got pretty horrible a lot of the time, I have to say, but we didn't actually argue about it.

I'll help you with the rota if you like. I think it really needs just a list of tasks per room and an arrangement for people to take turns, plus a couple of hints on when things need to be done.

Re: Feeling Bad is Not Necessarily Good...

[taimatsu]

sounds good to me. We probably also need to make it possible for people to say things like 'I feel like I'm the only one who ever vacuums/emptes the dishwasher/changes lightbulbs/fixes stuff' so that nobody ends up wandering about seething with fury but not getting noticed.

Clubbing

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

I think we've just missed a Calling, but if I'm still unemployed and you can swing a day off you're welcome to wander over.