Gah! I have just realised you asked me a question here which I completely failed to respond to!
R and I have only just started going to BDSM clubs; first trip in dEcember, second tomorrow night. We are lucky enough to have a couple of friends who are into this stuff too, and we're all able to be open and relaxed about it together (it helps that various of us fancy various others of us, I think).
But we have been doing things at home for a good year/18 months before that. We both had some previous experience (each in both roles). Our major how-to input has been from the web and from books (depending on how you guys work, The Mistress Manual and Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns are good books). Certainly for the what's-possible aspect, the 'bdsm negotiation checklist' forms which can be found online are good - they simply list things that kinky folk might want or not want to do. In conjunction with the Deviants' Dictionary website they come in very handy.
After a while, you start to discover what the underlying things are that turn you and your partner on. I mean, rather than knowing that having one's hair pulled *and* being called rude names *and* being used as a footstool turn one on, one starts to realise that one is actually into humiliation and objectification. Then one can start to look at other activities that press those buttons.
At some point I will have a 'kink' journal or filter - would you be interested in reading it?
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R and I have only just started going to BDSM clubs; first trip in dEcember, second tomorrow night. We are lucky enough to have a couple of friends who are into this stuff too, and we're all able to be open and relaxed about it together (it helps that various of us fancy various others of us, I think).
But we have been doing things at home for a good year/18 months before that. We both had some previous experience (each in both roles). Our major how-to input has been from the web and from books (depending on how you guys work, The Mistress Manual and Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns are good books). Certainly for the what's-possible aspect, the 'bdsm negotiation checklist' forms which can be found online are good - they simply list things that kinky folk might want or not want to do. In conjunction with the Deviants' Dictionary website they come in very handy.
After a while, you start to discover what the underlying things are that turn you and your partner on. I mean, rather than knowing that having one's hair pulled *and* being called rude names *and* being used as a footstool turn one on, one starts to realise that one is actually into humiliation and objectification. Then one can start to look at other activities that press those buttons.
At some point I will have a 'kink' journal or filter - would you be interested in reading it?